Friday, 7:34pm
It's just another typical evening.
You just finished treating your girlfriend, Lacy to dinner and a movie.
You both stand in a narrow hallway as you unlock your apartment door. (click:"apartment door")[ You have to shake the handle because it sometimes sticks.]
Meanwhile, Lacy blathers on about how tragic the movie was; but you pay no mind to her soliloquy.
Once opened, you both walk through the door of your small [[studio apartment]]. The city lights shine through the windows, illuminating the sparse amounts of [[belongings]] you own.
As Lacy hangs up her coat in the closet, you walk into the living room and toss yours on the couch before taking a seat. You let out a sigh of exhaustion before putting your feet up on the chipped wooden surface of the coffee table in front of you.
Your attention is then drawn to the flashing, red light of the answering machine next to you. You:
[[Hit play|Get Message]]
[[Decide to listen to it later|Doesn't Listen to Message]]
Living in a studio was only supposed to be a temporary solution until you finished art school. You didn't know the six months you planned to live here would turn into the next two years.
But at least you got away from *her*.You don't have many belongings.
You have an old battered couch in the living room and an outdated T.V. set.
One corner of your home is littered with your art supplies and canvases.
You have an overwhelming amount of painted canvases throughout your apartmenmt due to the lack of people buying your artwork.
In another corner of your apartment is a few boxes of your sister, Kate's stuff. She moved out four months ago but still hasn't gotten all her things. Maybe you should just throw them away?"One new voicemail" the robotic voice says.
"Hi Matt, it's Kate again" your sister's voice shakes. "I've been trying to reach you for a few days now, but I guess you've been busy...I wanted to talk to you in person but..." She trails off and pauses a moment before continuing. "It's Mom, Matt...She's dying." A shocked gasp escapes from Lacy, interrupting the solemn atmosphere; but you don't react. You just stand there motionless, as the message continues. "I know you haven't spoken to her in a while, but I just thought you should know...in case you want to see her...Sorry you had to find out this way. Just call me back when you get this...She doesn't have a lot of time left."
*Click*
The message ends.
"Matty...I'm so sorry" Lacy says as she walks over to console you. You don't even realize that your hand is balled into a fist until she takes it. "You should call your sister back." She suggests shyly.
[["Why?"|Why]]
[["No."|Doesn't Want Call Back]]
[[Call her back]]
You say in a firm tone as you let go of her hand and walk over to your art supplies.
"But this could be your last chance to see her...to make things right," She pleads. But you ignore her and start straightening up all your scattered canvases. Unable to leave the matter alone, she continues. "She still is your *mom*, Matt." You clench the canvas you have in your hands, turning your knuckles white.
She emphasizes the word "mom" like it would have some persuasive impact on you, but instead a (text-color:red)[hot anger] begins to brim inside you.
[["Fine."|Agrees to Call]]
[["Does this look like a mother to you!?"|Mother Painting]]
You pick up the phone, and dial your sister's number.
Your heart races as the phone beings to ring.
It rings three times before there's an answer.
"Hello?"
"Hi Kate. It's me, Matt." you reply as you take a seat on the couch next to you; its cool leather comforting your tense body.
"I'm glad you called" her voice full of relief. "So I'm assuming you got my message?"
[["Yes, how are you doing?"|How Sister Is]]
You then turn your attention back to Lacy with a smile and gesture for her to come sit next to you; she happily agrees. But before she can even make it to the living room, she stumbles over one of Kate's boxes sticking out from the corner.
"I wish she would just come and pick these up," Lacy sighs. "They're starting to become a hazard." She picks up the protruding box and stacks it on another further back. "What's this?" She asks while pulling out what seems to be a dusty book from one the boxes. "Oh! a photo album!" She squeals, "I want to see baby Matt!"
[[Next|Looks at Photos]]
You turn towards her, your tone coming across far more demeaning than intended. Sensing your agitation, she caresses your arm and looks up at you with her (text-color: blue)[blue eyes] glistening from the city lights.
"Well, she is your sister, and she obviously sounded upset on the phone. You should just call and make sure she's okay" she says with a caring smile.
[["You're right."|Convinced to Call]]
[["She'll be fine."|Refuses to Call]]You take a deep breath.
"Fine," you repeat as Lacy calmly comes up to you.
"Okay," she says calmly while taking the canvas from your hands and setting it against the wall. You look down and chuckle to yourself. "What is it?" she asks.
"It must've not been dry," you say as you hold up your hands to reveal black and brown paint on your palms and fingers. You both giggle; your heads leaning towards eachother like flowers in the sun.
"Alright," you sigh jokingly, "I should [[call Kate.|Call her back 2]]"You shout as you point to the unfinished [[painting|Mother Painting 2]] on your easel. Realizing she's upset you, Lacy stays silent. Emotions out of control, you
[[Break something|Throw Easel]]
[[Tell Lacy to leave|Lacy Leaves]]"Just what a girl likes to hear" she giggles.You stare down at her and you can't help but let a smile sneak onto your face. Her long (text-color: #776554)[brown hair] accents her still (text-color: blue)[glistening eyes]. You pull her in close to you and begin to wonder how you got so lucky.
You don't know why she stayed with you because you were just the shambles of a man when you met her, so full of (text-color: red)[hate].
[[Next|Call her back]]Sensing your irritation, Lacy drops the topic.
"Why don't we watch some T.V.?" she suggests. You agree.
You both move to the couch and spend the night laughing and enjoying each other's company.
[[Next|Lacy Calls]]You dial the number still smiling at Lacy.
"Hello? Matt?" Your joy quickly melts into bewilderment as a the raspy voice of an unfamiliar woman replies.
"Who is this?" You ask, throwing Lacy a worried look. "What're you doing with Kate's phone?"
"It's Mom....Lacy's here visitng me." Your whole body becomes numb with shock. Your mind races and everything you see is (text-color:red)[red]. "We didn't think you'd speak to me willingly," she continues. "I just want to talk." Your hands begin to shake as you feel your heart fiercely pumping.
[["Alright."|Talks to Mom]]
"It's harder than I thought it would be," she says, her voice cracking with distress, and she pauses a moment to compose herself. "You know I went to see her? I mean if that was even her...I could barely recognize her like that."
[[Next|Stay Silent 2]]Still full of mixed feelings toward your mother, you stay silent.
"Please come with me to see her," Kate begs, "I need my big brother there."
[["Okay"|Agrees to Go W Sis]]
[["No"]]Saturday, 11:12am
You and Kate walk into the hospital together.
"Thanks again for doing this" she smiles at you.
You take the elevator up to the 4th floor where your mother is staying. You try to hide the fact that your hands are shaking, but your efforts are futile because Kate takes your hand to calm you.
As you approach your mothers room, you can feel your heart racing and sweat run down your back.
[[Next|Visit w Sis]]And with that, you hang up the phone.
[[Next|End1]]"Aww look at you and your sister," she says walking towards you. "You had such chubby cheeks," she smiles as she takes a sit next to you.
You can't help but feel anxious as she flips through the pages.
She flips a couple more pages before stopping. "Are those your parents?" She asks pointing at one of your [[family's pictures]] from when you were a toddler. You wistfully nod your head. "You all look so happy," she says continuing to flip through the pictures of the four of you. She smiles at a picture of your parents laughing together while you and Kate play with toys in front of them. Very rarely can a camera capture such a pure moment of love, but your family made it easy.
As the pages continue turning, you watch Kate and yourself grow up. The pictures with your [[father become scarcer|Less Dad]], and it's not long before your family dwindles to only [[three|Pictures No Dad]]. Lacy's smile slowly fades away as she can see the bliss in each photo grow dimmer. She pauses on a picture of [[you, Kate, and your mom|Drunk Picture]]. Her face begins to droop with sorrow, and she closes the album. You feel the ache begin to spread throughout your heart.
"I'm so sorry," she whipsers as she takes your hand. You've told her about your past before, but seeing it made it all the more real.
[[Next|After Pictures]]You start thinking about the day your dad moved away; you were only eleven.
He got offered a better job in Colorado. He told you it was the only way he could support you and your sister. So Kate and you stayed behind with your mother in Chicago.
When you said goodbye, he told you:
"I'll be back before you know it!"
But he wasn't.
For the next four months, your relationship was composed of weekly phone calls, and the hollow promises of visiting soon. But it wasn't long before the calls became less frequent, and eventually stopped all together.
This is when you started blaming your mother for your dad leaving.
[[Back|Looks at Photos]]You look down angered by the photo.
You look about twelve in the picture. It must've been taken during one of your mom's many parties, as unfamiliar faces litter the background of your former home.
Kate and you stand next to each other; your faces weighed down by dread and bruised hearts.
Your mother stands posed in the back; her cheeks burning red and her eyes lost in a daze. She has one hand gripping Kate's shoulder and a bottle in the other.
[[Back|Looks at Photos]]You start reminiscing about when things were good, and you *loved* your family when things were good.
Your mom was the ideal mother. She would stay home with you and your sister when you were toddlers, while your dad looked for work. She'd spend the whole day with you guys laughing and playing games. And when your dad got home, you'd all rush to the door to greet him with the biggest hug.
Everything was perfect.
[[Back|Looks at Photos]]Despite all the good times, your mom had a temper. She would constantly lash out at your dad over the smallest things, and eventually it became too much for him.
So they separated. He moved to an apartment a town over and would visit as often as he could.
[[Back|Looks at Photos]]You agree to see her tomorrow morning.
"I'll be on the fourth floor, room 408." She says before ending the call.
[[Next Day]]Double-click this passage to edit it.You throw your easel and painting accross the room. Wet paint flies through the air as it crashes loudly against the wall. Heaving heavily, Lacy takes a step away from you.
A feeling of regret passes through your mind, but it is quickly extinguished by your firery temper.
"I can't do this," she says under her breath. "You're never gonna change." You finally morph back into her boyfriend and ask for forgiveness, but this isn't the first time you've let your temper get the best of you. She gathers her things and walks towards the door. You beg her to stay, but without a glance back, she walks out the door.
[[Next|After Breakup]]After Lacy leaves, you think about your mother. You think about how she wasn't there and how she hurt you and Kate.
Spurred by your anger, you call Kate back and get your mother's information.
[[Next|Tells Mom Off]]You stand there
(live: 3s)[alone]
(live:6s)[[[Next|After Breakup 2]]]The oh so familiar pain of lonliness spreads throughout your apartment leaving no crevice untouched.
(live:5s)[Feeling defeated, you walk over to the couch and [[sit down|Faced with Choice.]]]You stare at telephone next to you, faced with a choice once again.
You:
[[decide to visit your mother|Decides to Visit Breakup]]
[[throw the phone against the wall|No Visit]]You call your sister and she gives you your mother's contact information and the address to the hospital she's staying in.
[[Next|Visit Lacy Call]]You slam the phone against the wall, watching pieces of it break apart.
You then lay in your bed and think about
(live: 5s)[(text-color:red)[your mother]]
(live:6s)[and]
(live:8s)[(text-color:blue)[Lacy]]
(live:10s)[Before drifitng into a deep [[slumber|End1]]]Tuesday, 8:20pm
The funeral was this afternoon.
Not shortly after the service, you started receiving texts and calls from family and friends asking why you weren't there. But you don't reply.
Because it's just another typical evening.Saturday, 8:56am
You wake up the next morning groggy. You rub your eyes and look around the room.
Lacy must've let herself out; you think to yourself.
You shuffle your way to the kitchen to find a full pot of coffee waiting for you and a note.
*I called Kate back.
Your mom's info is below.
Please go visit her
-Lacy*
At the bottom of the note is the address to the hospital where your mother is staying.
You stand there staring at the note emotionless. After hesitating, you:
[[Decide to Visit her|Visit Lacy Call]]
[[Crumple the note up and throw it on the ground|Crumple Note]]Saturday, 11:30am
You arrive at the hospital.
Your heart is pounding as you walk through the front door of the hospital. You steady your breathing just enough to ask the nurse at the front desk what room your mother is in.
"Fourth floor, Room 408" she tells you.
The walk to her floor is a blur as your mind is overwhelmed with possibilities.
You stand outside of her room anxious and unsure. You hesitate as you build up the courage to enter the room.
[[Enter|Enter Mom's Room]]Sunday, 7:22am
*knock knock*
A loud knocking on your door jars you from your sleep. You roll over to your nightstand and check your phone for the time. 7:22am. You make your way to the door, irritated at whoever is waking you up so early.
Still half asleep, you carry your body to the door. When you look through the peep-hole, you're suprised to see your sister standing there.
"Let me in Matt!" She shouts through the door. After a moment, you open the door.
"About time" she says. She forces his way through the doorway and faces you. You can tell she has a lot to say. "Lacy told me you still haven't gone to see mom." Her words become muffled background noise to you as you walk to the kitchen to pour yourself a cup of coffee.
"Matt," she snaps her fingers in front of your face, "are you even listening? Please go see-" Her attention is then drawn to the crumpled note in the corner of your kitchen floor. She picks it up and unfolds it. As she reads it, a smirk spreads across her face. "See, if you *really* didn't want to see her...you would've thrown this away." You ignore her and walk back to your bed. She sets the note down on the kitchen counter before heading to the door."Even if it's not to forgive her. Even if you just tell her off. Just Go." She says as she heads out the door.
After your sister leaves, you go back into the kitchen and pick up the note. You think about it one last time. Finally you decide to just
[[go visit her|Visit After Note]]
[[stay home|End1]]Monday, 1:15pm
You arrive at the hospital to visit your mother.
As you walk to the door, you think of all the things you are going to say to her. All the years of built up anger are brimming, and you're ready to finally say all the things you wish you said to her before.
You're heart is pounding, but you calm yourself just long enough to ask the front desk lady for your mother's room number. The nurse has a look of confusion on her face as she looks at the computer in front of her.
"I'm sorry," she starts in a solemn tone. "She passed away this morning." Everything around you becomes quiet as the nurse's words echo in your ear.
[[Next|End 3]]Passed all the tubes and IVs you see her...your mother.
She sits there staring off into nothing with glossed over eyes; her mouth parted opened. She looks so fragile.
She turns her head to toward you, and a smile spreads across her face.
"You came." she whispers under her breath. You pull up a chair next to her and sit down. After all these years, you thought seeing her like this would be easy...but it isn't. "I'm sorry" she mumbles struggling to speak.
You take her hand. You feel your rage melt away, as you finally morph back into her son.
[["It's okay"|End 2]] you say in a soothing voice.
She squeezes your hand tighter as tears well up in her eyes.
You sit there with her for an hour. Neither of you say much. You simply enjoy each other's company.
Before you leave, you give her a big hug before whispering in her ear
"I love you mom." You smile at Lacy and hug her.
You don't know what you would do without her...she has helped you through so much...
You take the photo album from her and set it to the side before pulling her toward you.
You both sit there with each other and watch T.V. until late in the night.
(live:8s)[You feel happy with her.]
Tuesday, 4:00pm
The soil is damp beneath your feet.
You stand in front of the white glistening casket clentching a funeral program in your hands, as you watch your mother get lowered into the ground.
Sunday, 10:00am
You wake up exhausted. The thought of seeing your mother has you not wanting to get out of bed. You start really thinking about if you want to see her. After pondering the idea you decide
[[To just go see her|Visit Lacy Call]]
[[Go see her tomorrow|Skips Visit]]Monday, 12:15pm
You walk through the hospital doors anxious. Your heart is pounding as you walk up to your mother's room. Ahead of you, you see her room.
"408"
You take a deep breath before walking through the doors.
[[Next|Skips Visit 2]]You expected to be greeted by your mother, but instead the bed is empty.
You look around confused.
Her stuff is in the room. Some various flowers and get well soon cards.
She has a calendar on the wall with yesterday's date circled reading
"Matt Visits!!"
Bewildered, you go to find one of the nurses and ask her where your mother is.
She looks at you her eyes heavy
"I'm sorry sir...But she died early this morning..."
[[Next|End 3]]As you walk in the room, Kate approach the mother with open arms.
"Hi mom," she says cheerfully as she embraces her in a hug. You stand awkwardly by the door unsure of what to do.
You can barely recognize her as your mother; so pale and fatigued. It's hard for you to stay angry at her when she looks so fragile.
Kate coaxes you into the room...Kate starts the conversation by talking about her new job, and how much she misses living with you.
[[Next|Visit w Sis2]]You all spend time talking about what's new in your lives, but it's not long before your mom turns her attention to you.
She takes your hand. You can feel the bones in her hand from how skinny she is.
"I'm so so sorry Matt" she says looking up at you with tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry." You feel tears begin to well up in your eyes, but you hold them back, and smile down at her.
Kate takes your other hand and begins to tear up as well.
[[Next|End 4]]You both were there holding your mother's hand as she took her last breath. You watched her die in peace with her children there.
And you felt those years of anger and resentment finally wash away. Saturday, 11:00am
You drive to the hospital in a fury and march up to your mother's room.
You see her laying there watching T.V., and without a hello you start yelling.
You yell at her for being a drunk, you yell at her for hurting you and your sister, you yell at her for making Dad leave....
She sits there and accepts the blows; tears rolling down her cheeks; hands trembling....But you are relentless...
And before she can even reply, you leave.
[[Next|Tells Mom Off2]]Tuesday, 4:15pm
The soil is damp beneath your feet...Your mother's casket is a glistening white...You listen to the preist drone on with a usual blessing.
He starts by saying
"She was a beloved mother." which makes you scoff to yourself.
[[Next|Funeral]]After the service your sister pulls you to the side.
"I'm glad you came," she says.
"I did it for you," you reply. She nods her head before continuing.
"Here...this is from mom." She hands you an envelope.
[[Take envelope]]
[[Don't take envelope]]You take the envelope and open it.
It's a letter from your mom.
She apologizes for all the years she wasn't a mother and how poorly she treated you. She tells you how she wishes she was better, and most importantly she says how she proud she is for how you turned out.
You fight back the tears in your eyes, but you break. The tears come rushing out and you stand there sobbing over your mother. Kate pulls you into a hug.
"It's okay," she whispers. You hug your sister tight.
You both stand there embracing each other with tears running down your cheeks.Without a word and without taking the envelope, you walk away.
You carry on with your life never shedding a tear for your mother.